Bad Science

I don't mean to continue a rant on a job that I'm leaving, but I must address one last issue; Bad, bad, bad science. I've spent basically my whole adult life in pursuit of scientific truth and I've learned from great scientists how the art of science is practiced. I'm highly ethical, and meticulous in my science. So, when management told us what results we needed to find in the data we were about to collect, I had to swallow a snort of contempt. In other words corporate already said what the data was, now we had to make it so. I've spent years working on maintaining neutrality, knowing any result is interesting, there is no emotional investment in an outcome, and finding the truth of an experiment is the real purpose. I do pure science, not corporate order science.

Failing to repeat failure

Does failing to repeat a failure result in success?  Nope, it's just failing twice.  I've been frustrated for the past few weeks since determining that the most exciting part of my field experiment had failed.  I know the adage that negative results are still results and should still be published, blah, blah, blah.  So I planned a field day to set up a duplicate experiment under the same field conditions, essentially repeating my failure so I'd have enough negative results to publish.  And what do you know, I failed again!  Monday I was shocked to discover that the plants at my experimental site had put on two months of growth in two weeks.  The end effect of this mammoth growth is that the field conditions in no way matches the conditions of last springs experiment, so it's not at all possible to repeat my failed experiment.  

I had to scramble to deal with these unpredicted conditions, and have decided to throw logic and methodology into the wind and start a new and different experiment, which I also wont be able to repeat based on my program schedule.  So, the end result will be multiple unrepeated field experiments with uninteresting and negative results.  Yeah for science!

LHC - We're not dead yet!

Well, so far the LHC hasn't killed us all in our sleep (as far as I can tell).  The story is probably being told everywhere but I first heard the good news on NPR this morning.  Of course there isn't much to tell yet, just a lot of excited scientist who are basically saying: "we told you we wouldn't destroy everyone."  But here's a link to a NPR article on it, good stuff but I find it disturbing to think of a lab full of physicists having a pajama party.....

In case you're worried about the earths imminent destruction you can navigate to this webpage

where they bravely answer the question: has the lhc destroyed the earth?

Science can be a bit mad sometmes.......

I've recently been pondering just how odd the science that I do can be sometimes.  I spend many months raising small seedlings, nurturing them to maturity.  Regular watering, fertilizing, transplanting as they grow.  And then once large enough, I devise new and creative ways to dispatch them to plant heaven (or in these plants case, perhaps plant hell).  It's a funny thing to study the unwanted.  Those species that are not just undesirable but the loathsome bane of our collective existence.  I suppose that's a bit dramatic of a description, but I've always found it useful to have a subtle hatred for these plants.  Makes life easier and helps to stave off the stockholm syndrome or at least stave off the apathy that I feel at constant risk of.

Thou shalt not forget thy ipod!

During the summer we graduate students help with projects out at the research farm as often as possible.  Our lab group has many research trials that are ready for harvesting and data recording, it's usually fun and gets us out of the office (which isn't air-conditioned anyway so why bother....)  

One of the most tedious tasks is cleaning grass seed.  After grass seed has been cut, laid in the field for a while, and the seed harvested with the combine it needs to be sent through the seed cleaner.  This chest-freezer-sized machine separates the live seed from the stalks, hulls, and chaff that the combine also collects.  Each experimental plot is individually bagged during combining and must be cleaned and weighed individually.  This is a long, noisy, and tedious process that is made worse by the heat and dust particles released during cleaning.  

Listening to music, podcasts, our audiobooks is one of the few things that make this task more bearable.  I forgot my ipod today, and oh how I suffered.  I thought I might be able to call upon my creative storytelling brain function to entertain me with fictional stories and random characters, but I completely failed.  Apparently my "magical thinking" does not work upon request, or by force of will.  Must, must, must remember ipod!

Compassionate professor

When I feel like I have failed somehow in my research, or haven't lived up to my own expectations of my work, I always expect to see disappointment equal to my own in my professors face.  Time and again this isn't the case.  Instead I'm given support and encouragement to try again, even empathy for the difficulty I'm having with my research.  It's astounding that I've been fortunate enough to find myself in such a supportive environment.  I read so many other blogs written by young women in science who are not only lacking an encouraging advisor, but who are in some cases being systematically browbeaten by senior faculty.  It's an important lesson for all of us that have the potential to continue in academia: Remember our own tribulations, disappointments, and failures in order to treat others with compassion.

Disappointment and self doubt

Having failed to collect the data I was seeking during the recent trip to my field site, my mind has been dwelling of thoughts of failure.  Doubting wether I have the skill to complete the research, fear of the disappointment I will see in my professors face tomorrow.  The idea of managing a field site and collecting data on the plant species seems simple when planned from the safety of my desk, but the ideas once applied to the real situation never come to fruition.  It's incredibly frustrating to have so little control over the experimental variables at this field site.

Into the great wide open

I'm off to the woods for a few days, to collect data at my research plots.  Fingers crossed for enough plant growth to make grass ID easy.  The forecast is a mix of clouds and sun and temps in the upper 60's (F).  Should be just lovely, wish I could spend the whole summer.  

Enlightening additional information

Writing form the IWSC....

It's funny how we travel so far to attend conventions, spend endless hours in sessions, taking in and processing an incredible amount of information, and yet some of the best bits of information comes from casually chatting with other scientists. Such as the enlightening comments I heard from an senior professor who I have come to idolize....

Such as the fact that we constantly repeat studies that we already know what the outcome will be because we desire conformation. It's very similar to the definition of insanity I've heard in the past, repeating the same process but expecting a different result.....

Additionally, the need to repeat a experiment without modification in order to be able to publish the data, even if it didn't work well the first time, and we could make it better by modification before replication.

It's interesting. Observations that seem so obvious but I would have needed years of experience in the field before I would have made then on my own.

Finding inspiration in an eppendorf tube

I finally feel like I did more than just go through the motions today.  In the end I even feel a little inspired.  I spent all my free time between and after classes re-learning how to run a PCR and subsequently running a few this evening.  

In the past I've always thought of the molecular work as a slightly amusing but extremely informative part of my research, but that all the fun stuff happens in the greenhouse and fieldwork.  But today I found the little joy and motivation in the molecular work that I had been seeking all week in the greenhouse.  

I've been thinking that the rhythmic lab work can be somehow soothing and regenerative.  Sort of like the rhythm of rocking in a rocking-chair. Changing pipet tips, drawing-up buffers, dispensing to tubes, and repeating the process.  It must be true that it's the little things in life that bring you joy.