Now I find myself seeking out old friendships with people I've grown away from, trying to find a connection to help combat the loneliness, but it's difficult. I get so wrapped up in school work and research that I'm unable to properly cultivate a friendship with people outside my immediate group of office-mates, mentors, and colleagues. In a way I feel like the more I advance in science and knowledge the more I regress in social capacity. Perhaps there is something to the stereotype of the socially inept out of touch scientist, but I really hope not.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Since returning to school I've noticed something unexpected about life as a graduate student, it's very lonely. I know it sounds odd. I share an office with four other students, I go to classes with dozens of others, I have two professors I work with, there are research assistants, post doc's, undergraduate workers, but yet the fact remains I still somehow frequently feel alone. Being social by nature I find it difficult sometimes. Everyone is working so hard on there own projects you don't have some one to bounce new ideas off, share jokes, reflect on experiences. Don't get me wrong, I love being here, being part of this fantastic group of scientists, but I feel like I've sacrificed something too. The job I left for school was wonderful in that way, I had these really strong bonds with my co-works that were different than usual friendships. Not really better, because they never really last after you leave the job, but still very strong friendships in their own way.